My instincts were right, but I didn't want to listen.
All hell broke loose when I didn't pay attention to that little voice within me.
True story. When I was married to my first husband, there was something fishy going on.
I became niggled and restlessly aware that something wasn't right... but ignored it. After all, we were happy, right?
It wasn't the obvious things that made me uneasy. Like his staying out late at night. After all, we had a business to run and his job was to make sure that the guests were happy.
Or the way the servers in our restaurant seemed overly friendly with him, drinking our wine, laughing at his antics, and freezing when I walked in.
I didn't like it, but I was aware of his charm and fun side, that's why I married him.
It wasn't even the long awkward moments when I would ask him if he was cheating on me, and he would look me in the eye and tell me I was imagining things... that he was"100% monogamous". How could I be so crazy, to think he would do that to me!?
But he did. All the time. Without any apology for what may come. He cheated the entire 8 years of our marriage.
I felt so powerless. Was it true? Even if I instinctively knew there was something wrong, I was so lost when it came to relationships, my only strategy was kindness.
I chose to radiate love to my cheating husband and hidden enemies. I would close my eyes and send loving, positive energy to the people who were trashing my reputation, destroying my family and stealing from the future of our business.
I believed that the way to heal the situation was to send love to them.
But my self-sacrifice was keeping me karmically bound to the situation. I was so willing to endure the confusion in my life, that my boundaries became non-existent. And my intuition was squashed and silent. I was lost.
I knew my intuition was trying to tell me something was very very wrong-- but I didn't know how to listen to it. I was too busy to pay attention, my newborn baby, my restaurant, my failing marriage... I barely had time to do anything but keep going!
How could I hope to hear my intuitive guidance, when I was trying so hard to keep other people happy? "My responsibilities" were related to my whole world. Their wants and needs were more important to me than my own feelings of suspicion, right?
Putting my own intuition on a back burner kept me tied to the very people I needed to get away from!
Feelings of suspicion, grief and a growing lack of confidence kept pulling me back to an endless cycle of trying to make it all right for everybody else, except me. Trying to appease the fiery gods of betrayal, my life burned to ashes around me.
Without owning my inner voice, I would continue to attract people into my life who were astonishingly willing to take advantage me
- and of my willingness to believe their lies, and feed their need for power, by surrendering my own.
I was so very vulnerable. Trying to be safe, and being kind to others, while my life went quickly to hell.
That's when I decided!
That's when signed up for an intuitive development program that would help me hear my intuition.
It was time to repair my life, set boundaries and hope for clarity.
It was a life changing moment. I was very brave jumping into the complete unknown for me. But I have become more and more used to taking those leaps of faith since then.
Faith over Fear!
Can anyone relate? Are you in a situation where you know it's wrong, it's time to do something about it. But there are so many layers of questions, that you don't know where to start?
Well I get it! And I will share with you this..
SIX STEP PROCESS TO START HEARING YOUR INNER GUIDANCE
1) Write a letter to your self, and ask what you really want and need. Ask why you are afraid of insisting on making it a priority, who's keeping you small? ... and write about how you can take care of yourself better, write down everything you need to say about it... and read it over carefully..
2) Put your hand over your heart and say to yourself, "I love you, even when you are upset or hurt."
3) Take a healing bath with epsome salt and a few drops of essential oil. Allow all the expectations you hold yourself and self-judgement to be released. You can let go of the fear of what may happen. This is the ego trying to keep you safe. Allow your body and mind to relax so that you can access your deeper truth.
4) Visualize removing any energy chords that bind you to people (who have taken your self- authority). Imagine all of your shared energy flowing into a scroll or karma between you, then break the scroll and release the karma now.
5) It is time to listen to your own inner voice. Ground and center yourself.
Visualize a bubble of protection and love around you, your aura.
Fill it with the purest, white light and a set clear boundary that distinguishes your energy from the rest of the world.
Affirm you are ready to listen to your inner guidance, and that you trust all of your needs will be met in time, if not today. Declare your willingness to own your power and responsibility to your soul and well being.
6) As you visualize a fresh white energy around you, you create an energetic space for your own solutions, ideas, and feelings to be present, (independent from everyone else).
Think of one thing you can do to heal the situation that is hurting you. How can you care for your deepest truth? Where do you need to create a boundary and stop trying to take care of others?
Follow through with that one step today,
Even if it is just gathering information and taking time to make your mind up, meditate on it, go for a walk, make a plan... give yourself a chance, and know you can do this! Just don't sweep it under the rug!
Repeat the whole process (as needed) to clear away your attachment to others. You will feel the shift when it's done. A clarity and lightness of inner truth. this can take time and if you need to- get professional support. No one has to go it alone in this universe.
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Have you had these aha moments when you knew your intuition was trying to tell you something, but couldn't quite hear what it was trying to say?
Let me know your experiences and comments are on our group Facebook page: Purely Intuitive.Online I am always listening and responding there.
Blessings to you on your journey,
Amy
PS. If you haven't already... please come and get your FREE INTUITION STARTER KIT. link :
It includes a short exercise for tuning into your intuition and getting steps to support your own journey!
